The Biggest Mistake I Made on my Wife's Birthday

Saturday was Kristen's birthday and we had a fun and full day celebrating her and running around with activities and sports with our kids. Throughout the day, I tried to be a good husband, offering to serve her by running errands or doing different 'chores' around the house. I'd say things like: "I'll take care of the dishes - you go sit down." Or, I'd make extra efforts to put the kids to work so that Kristen could relax more on her birthday.

There's nothing wrong with serving your spouse on his or her birthday. The mistake is when you think this is the exception and not the norm. Somehow, I believed the lie that I ONLY need to go the extra mile and the kids ONLY need to do more chores one day of the year, on Kristen's birthday.

It got me thinking, "What if I treated Kristen like it was her birthday, every day?". What if every day the boys and I went the extra mile? What this does not mean:

• Presents and cards every day

• Eating out more often than not

• And it definitely does NOT mean dessert and ice cream pie every night or a Venti, Half-caf, Peppermint Mocha with whip every morning. (The budget and waistline couldn't handle it!)

This is faulty thinking to only serve your spouse, go the extra mile, or put their needs before your own, one day a year. Rather, treating Kristen like it was her birthday every day means:

1. Put her needs before your own.

Philippians 2:3-4 says, "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."

What if every day, I looked to Kristen as more important than myself, and I put her needs first?

2. Live with your spouse in an understanding way.

1 Peter 3:7 says, "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."

Understanding Kristen means I should talk less and listen more (James 1:19). It means I should seek to understand more than making sure I was heard (Proverbs 18:2). It means I become a student of my spouse, every day. I study her, so I can know her, so I can serve and understand her.

3. Serve, not be served.

Mark 10:45 says, "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

What if the ways I served Kristen modeled Jesus' example for us in the way He lived? What if I truly sought to serve Kristen every day rather than thinking through the ways she can best serve me?

How would this change your relationship or your marriage if you treated your significant other as if every day was his or her birthday? How would it change the ways you serve your husband? How would it change the ways you treated your wife? What would others think about your marriage or the beauty with which you serve each other?

The world thinks Christians don't know how to do marriage well. And often times they are right. However, I believe it could transform the way the world views marriage and Christians if we treated each other like every day was your significant other's birthday. Don't make the same mistake I made on my wife's birthday.

Your Turn:

What can you do, today, to make your significant other feel like it's his or her birthday?