8 Marriage Lessons Learned From Newlyweds
Kristen and I just wrapped-up leading a small group of newly-married couples. At Watermark we call these “Foundation Groups.” The purpose of a Foundation Group is to help establish newlyweds and help them build their marriages on the solid foundation of Jesus Christ.
In Matthew 7.24-27, Jesus says: “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”
At the end of these two years together, I am grateful that these four families have built their homes on the rock, the solid foundation of Christ. There will be challenges in the days ahead, and, in fact, there already have been significant challenges for each couple. Yet, along the way, their homes have not crashed because they are built on the cornerstone of Jesus Christ.
8 Lessons We Learned From Newlyweds
As we wrapped up our last night, one of the husbands in our group shared the following 8 lessons he and his bride learned over the past two years:
1. In marriage, you need a wingman/wingwoman
No, not in a Top Gun or Batman kind of way, but we each need a spouse who will love us, protect us, support us, and cover our back. Love believes the best (1 Corinthians 13:7), and your spouse is someone who believes the best about you.
2. In marriage, you need a teammate
Someone to compliment you, maybe where one is weak the other strong. Ephesians 5:21-33 talks about the husband and wife having the same purpose and moving in the same direction. When we come together as one flesh (Genesis 2:24), we strive towards oneness together.
3. Consistency is crucial for community
Marriages and community do not thrive without intentionality and consistency. Keep your marriage and your community a priority. See Genesis 2:24 and Philippians 2:3-4.
4. Conflict is sticky but you have to push through
In marriage and in community, we need to challenge each other and sometimes have hard conversations. Proverbs 27:6 - faithful are the wounds of a friend; See also Matthew 18:15-17.
5. Innuendo is always appropriate (Even during prayer)
A little bit of an inside joke here, but we are to enjoy each other, both in marriage and in community! The couple who plays together, stays together. Have fun and laugh with your spouse and your community. See Ecclesiastes 9:9
6. Crowns in heaven are great but there are a few rewards here on earth too (aka "Jewels in heaven are great but so is a little bling here on earth")
Our rewards will come in heaven, but there is fruit here on earth that we can enjoy and celebrate. Make sure you take time to thank God for the joys of this life. See John 10:10.
7. Ministry isn't something you do, it's the way you live
This is especially challenging for those of us in full-time, vocational ministry. Ministry isn’t just a paycheck - it’s the way you live, every moment of every day. Romans 12:1 - Live your life as a living sacrifice.
8. Intentionality is a 10-cent word that requires a million dollar investment
It’s real easy to talk about wanting to be more intentional with your spouse but you have to actually do it and it might take sacrifice. The example provided here was when Kristen and I decided to get rid of the television in our bedroom so that we would cut down the TV watching, and instead communicate more, sleep more, read more, and have sex more. #Worthit
The ten of us have each learned many lessons along the way in our two-year journey together. I am beyond grateful for the opportunity Kristen and I had to welcome these 4 families into our home, our lives, and our family.
Your Turn: What lessons are you learning from close friends about marriage and community?