Why Giving Thanks Isn’t Just for Thanksgiving
Like so many/all of us, I sometimes struggle with giving thanks. Whether it’s because I’m entitled, proud, clueless or simply ungrateful, I have a hard time thanking God and thanking others. On the other hand, I'm humbled when I see others display this trait and it reminds me and spurs me on to be a more thankful follower of Christ.
As I have processed this deficit in my life, I think my thanklessness comes from a few sources:
Believing the grass is greener on the other side. I think someone has it better than me, makes more money, has more toys, or has been given a better set of genes and DNA from God. For whatever reason I think to myself, "God has chosen to deal me a rotten hand. Other people got better, more important gifts than I received. If God really loved me, He would have given me better leadership or speaking gifts, quicker wit and the genetics of someone who is 6’4” tall, not someone who is 5’average."
NOTE: I don’t believe this to be true, but sometimes in my lesser moments I find myself sinfully frustrated with the hand God has dealt me. In my better moments I acknowledge that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139), have more than enough in every area of my life (1 Timothy 5:8), and realize how richly blessed I am.
Pride in wanting to take credit instead of giving credit to God. At times I have an improper view of my success and think it’s because I’m ‘awesome’ instead of recognizing the giver of the gifts that allowed for my success.
I'm entitled and think I deserve it. I think thanks are unnecessary for something I deserve in the first place. Ugly.
I started to recognize this struggle with unthankfulness a few months back and have committed to radically addressing this sin in my life. Here are a few ways I have fought back against it and a few ways we are addressing this sin as a family.
Dive into and memorize God’s word. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” As my friend Joe says, there's no need to get technical here: always means all the time, without ceasing means not ceasing, and all circumstances means in all things! This means I will choose to give thanks in the good times and give thanks even in the challenging times. It doesn’t mean I have to like it, but I am working to give thanks in the good and bad.
For example, I am currently working through an area of struggle in my job. A part of my job is speaking and teaching publicly at church, either at a marriage ministry event or on Sunday mornings. The last few months I have frozen in the middle of sharing Sunday morning announcements. This means that on the stage in front of a few thousand people, I have panicked and verbally shut down. It’s embarrassing and I have failed. I don’t like it, but even in the midst of it, I'm learning to say thanks, because I know God is trying to teach me something or point out some area of sin/struggle in my life.
Writing notes and encouraging others (Hebrews 3:13). There’s nothing like getting a good, old-fashioned, handwritten note through snail mail. I have been spurred on by the example of others to use my gift of encouragement to specifically encourage others when I see God’s glory shining through them. All it costs is some thank you notes and a stamp. So worth it, for the writer and the recipient.
In our house, we have a ‘rocks of remembrance’ jar. In the jar we have small, black river rocks upon which we write phrases with a silver sharpie. Whenever our lives are marked by the kindness of others, we grab a new rock, write on it and put it in the jar. Throughout the year, we will take the rocks out and tell stories of the kindness and generosity of others. This leads us to a deeper level of gratitude and spurs on generosity towards others.
In a similar vein, my 12-year-old twins each have a thankfulness jar. They take a few slips of paper and write some notes about something they’re thankful for and put in the jar. They take them out and read them as a reminder of God’s goodness and faithfulness in their lives.
Last, but not least, is my favorite. A few years back I started a thankfulness journal. Every day during my quiet time, I spend a few minutes writing down at least three things from the last 24 hours that I am specifically thankful for. Some days the list flows. Other days it takes some time to come up with my list. This exercise has led me to deeper intimacy with the Lord, allows me to see the good and give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18), and helps me see what God is teaching me when I don’t want to say thanks. I am in the middle of a streak of over 100 days in a row of writing in my thankfulness journal and I just finished my first thankfulness journal (that started way back in 2012!).
Your Turn:
How are you doing in showing and giving thanks? Is this something you do naturally or do you find it to be a struggle?
As you look at the list above, what is one thing you can do to grow in becoming more thankful?
Please add any suggestions you might have below so others can learn from you.