Why I Need To Be Taught How To Be Teachable
My 2 Corinthians 12, “thorn in the flesh,” issue is my struggle with food and overeating. I struggle with an addiction and obsession with food, and my desire to eat often consumes me (pun intended). Along with this eating battle comes an aversion, or one might say allergy, to exercise. I’d prefer to work, read, watch television (while eating) over exercise or activity pretty much any day of the week.
While I joke above, this issue is no joke in my life and I am actively addressing the sin patterns related to my food obsession and poor stewardship of my body. One of the primary means of growth/challenge in my life comes from other people in my community group who spur me on to eat better and exercise more often. Sometimes, however, I am not open to the input of others.
Friend: “Scott - how are you doing at eating this week?"
Me: “My schedule has been crazy and I haven’t really made the effort to eat healthy."
Friend: “Sorry to hear that. How about exercise?"
Me: (Starting to get perturbed) “No. Like I said, my schedule’s been crazy and I haven’t had time to workout."
Friend: “Is it possible to even get a walk or quick workout in on crazy weeks?"
Me: “DUDE. LEAVE ME ALONE. YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND HOW CRAZY LIFE IS RIGHT NOW."
While this isn’t a word for word account of the conversation, it’s not far off. I claim to want help, but yet I prove to be prideful, stubborn, hard to love and often unteachable.
Today I want to spend some time on that last word: Unteachable. You know when something keeps coming up in your life, over and over and over? For whatever reason, the Lord keeps giving me opportunities to become more teachable:
Am I someone who is teachable or unteachable in my relationship with Jesus?
In my marriage?
In relationships with friends?
With my own kids?
In his book The Key to Everything: Unlocking the Secret to Why Some People Succeed and Others Don’t, Matt Keller defines teachability as the desire to change and become better multiplied by the willingness to do what is better to make the desire a reality. In other words, to grow and prove teachable, you need both a desire to change and willingness to do whatever it takes to bring about the desired change. There are times we have desire to change, but are unwilling to do what we need to do. For example, I desire to lose weight and get healthy, but there are times when I am unwilling to make the changes or sacrifices necessary to change (i.e., stop eating candy, get up early to work out).
Here’s what I do know:
James 4:6b says, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” I don’t want to be someone who is proud. I want to receive grace because of a humble, teachable spirit.
In John 3:30, the apostle John quotes John the Baptist talking about Jesus, saying "He must increase, but I must decrease.” A teachable person is willing to decrease in order to make the hero (Jesus) increase. Whenever I prove to be unteachable it’s probably because I’m trying to increase my importance or the way others think about me.
And my new favorite verse: Proverbs 12:1 says, "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.” My new prayer is, "Lord: Please help me to not hate reproof. Spare me from being stupid!"
Let’s move on to you. How would others characterize you: as someone who is teachable or unteachable? Do you “love knowledge” or are you “stupid?"
At work, when someone challenges you, do you respond with defensiveness and an argumentative spirit, or are you someone who welcomes feedback?
In your marriage, do you have to win, or do you have the desire to grow and are you willing to do what it takes to understand your spouse (see Proverbs 18:2)?
How about with your kids? Do you automatically win because you’re older and smarter? Or can you be humble and model for them a teachable spirit?
After 10 years of full time marriage ministry and working with parents and their kids, I can say with confidence that couples and parents who are teachable do well. Those who prove to be unteachable have struggled, are struggling and will continue to struggle.
I know in my life when I choose to humble myself and be someone who is teachable, it’s much more attractive. I often tell others humility looks good on them. In the same way, teachability looks good on others when they show it. I want to be someone who is teachable. Lord, please break my unteachable spirit. Teach me to be teachable.
Your Turn:
How are you (honestly) doing in this area of your life? Ask others around you. How would your boss, your employees, your spouse, your friends and your kid(s) describe you: as teachable or unteachable?
Check out the book The Key to Everything. I just finished this book and appreciated the author’s thoughts on characteristics of teachable and unteachable people. This has been one of my favorite books this year. Easy to read and so practical.