A Letter to Me: 10 Things I Want My Children To Know

Every so often, I get hooked on a good country music kick. One of my go-to artists is Darius Rucker—thanks to my college days listening to Hootie and the Blowfish. But Brad Paisley’s “Letter to Me” always strikes a chord with me. In the song, Paisley writes a letter to his younger self, sharing lessons he wishes he knew back then.

While we can’t literally send a letter to our past selves, we can pass on our hard-earned wisdom to our kids. As a dad to four sons (20, 20, 17, and 15), here’s my attempt to do just that—to share some serious and some light-hearted advice with a younger version of myself, which I also hope resonates with my boys.

1. Don’t Burn So Many Calories Trying to Be “Cool”

When I was 10, my family moved from New Jersey to Pennsylvania. Back in New Jersey, I was one of the “cool kids”—listening to Lionel Richie and wearing my favorite plastic baseball helmets to school. But when we moved, I quickly learned that being “cool” meant something different in Pennsylvania, and I found myself trying hard to fit in.

As I got older, that desire to belong led me to make some regrettable choices, including illegal ones, just to be accepted by the “in” crowd. Looking back, it was a heavy price to pay for something so fleeting. Cool fades. Character lasts.

2. Don’t Be a People Pleaser

In junior high, I tried to win friends by giving away answers to a French test I had aced. I was “tres bien” (really good) at French. My plan backfired—I ended up suspended, embarrassed, and with a failing grade instead of an A+. Why? Because I was chasing the approval of others instead of doing the right thing.

Galatians 1:10 says it best: “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” This lesson is one I still remind myself of to this day. The approval of man is fleeting, but God’s approval is immediate and eternal for the follower of Christ.

3. Don’t Waste Money on Baseball Cards

Trust me on this one—you’ll spend a fortune on them, only to find they’re worth next to nothing when you try to sell them.

4. Pay Attention in Church

As a teenager I went to church for social reasons, either to hang out with friends or because I had a crush on a girl in Sunday School. I missed so many opportunities to learn about Jesus. If only I had taken my faith seriously earlier on, I could have avoided so much pain and confusion in my college and young adult years.

5. Avoid the Comparison Trap

We all fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others—whether it’s grades, athletic achievements, or material possessions. But it’s true what they say: comparison is the thief of joy. You always lose when you play the comparison game.

Jesus warns us in Luke 12:15, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” Whether you're comparing clothes, cars, conquests, or careers, you will never find contentment in comparison.

6. Cultivate Gratitude

I wish I had learned earlier to be thankful in all circumstances. Gratitude changes everything. It shifts your focus from what you lack to the blessings right in front of you. As 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.”

7. Pornography Isn’t Worth It

I vividly remember the first time I encountered pornography, and the impact it had on me was profound—and not in a good way. It’s a trap, and I wish I had never been exposed to it. It can ruin lives, relationships, and distort how you see others. It just about destroyed my life. I pray my sons never fall into this same snare.

Here’s some scripture to help you stand firm: “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity” (Ephesians 5:3). And 1 Corinthians 6:18 adds, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”

8. Embrace Who God Made You to Be

For years, I struggled with self-image. I didn’t like my body type, the way I looked, or even the fact that I could grow facial hair at an unusually young age! But the truth is, God made me just the way I am, and He doesn’t make mistakes. Psalm 139 reminds us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

9. You Won’t Be a Professional Baseball Player—And That’s Okay

I grew up obsessed with sports, especially baseball. So when I got cut from the team in high school, it felt like the end of the world. But here I am, still standing. Sports are great, but they don’t define you.

10. Cherish Your Parents

You don’t know how much time you have with your parents. My biological dad passed away when I was six, and my stepdad later passed away due to complications from his battle with Alzheimer’s. Time is precious. Love your parents, hug them often, and don’t take them for granted.

There’s more wisdom I could share, but I’ll leave it at these ten lessons for now. Maybe it’s time for me to sit down, hug my boys, and share some of these lessons with them—maybe over a good Brad Paisley song.

Your Turn:

What about you? What would you write in a letter to your younger self or your kids?