How Do I Know if Something “Owns” Me?
How do I know if something “owns” me? Perhaps you’ve heard this question before or even asked it of yourself in the past. If you're a follower of Christ, then you know you've been purchased by the blood of Christ. But, we often live as if we're owned by our struggles or challenges.
A few months ago, I co-lead a discipleship group of 10 men, and this question came up from one of the guys as we discussed the book Living in the Light: Money, Sex, and Power, by John Piper. I know I'm owned by God, but I act as if sin owns me.
Today I want to share three things:
What does it mean if something owns me?
What are some questions I can ask to determine if something owns me?
Four things to do if you are owned by anything other than Christ.
1. What does it mean if something “owns” me?
We’ve all been there. Something consumes us, dominates our thinking, wakes us up at night, or causes us guilt and shame. We’ve all experienced that dreadful feeling that something or someone owns us.
I’ve been owned by guilt and shame over a pornography struggle. There are seasons when food dominates my thoughts, and I can’t wait to eat in isolation or binge on ice cream or jelly beans. I’ve been owned by the fear of man and a deep desire to please or impress others. Other times I’ve been gripped by anger and frustration.
What is it for you?
Are you consumed or owned by stuff? Maybe you think about the next clothing item you want to buy. Maybe it’s a new car or a bigger home. Your thought life is dominated by your desire to buy the next big thing. A friend and his daughter were just driving through a wealthy neighborhood in Dallas. My friend’s daughter had the insight to say that driving through this large neighborhood was “not good for her” as it caused her heart to crave the bigger house.
Maybe you’re consumed by an addiction or craving. Maybe your’s is different than my food craving. For you, it might be alcohol, pot, or nicotine.
Are you owned by sexual sin? Do you spend your life thinking through your next sexual release? When I was in my teens and early 20’s, my thought life was dominated by the next sexual conquest. Maybe for you, those desires still dominate your thought life and your actions, either through pornography or some other type of sexual immorality.
I know there are others, but what is the thing that tends to dominate your thought life and your actions? What is the thing that "owns" you?
2. What are some questions I can ask to determine if something owns me?
Does it cause me to worry or experience anxiety? Does it tend to dominate my thoughts and lead to a lack of sleep, restlessness, or elevated blood pressure and heart rate?
Do I worry about what others think? Do I wonder about what others think or feel about me?
How does it reflect my calendar and "checkbook”? In other words, does this thing take up a lot of time of time in my calendar or burn a lot of money in my budget/finances?
Do I treasure it? In other words, do I find myself spending a lot of time thinking about it and seeking fruit or reward from it? For example, I can treasure victory for my favorite sports teams. If Wake Forest loses any game in just about any sport, I find myself frustrated and short with others. If they win, I experience inordinate joy.
Where do my thoughts drift on their own? When I slow down and try to turn my brain off, what tends to come to my mind? For example, in my idle times, I often find myself thinking about my blog, how much traffic I’m getting, and how I can get more people to read, like, and share my stuff.
Am I willing to share with others, or do I try to keep it in the dark and hide from others? A huge tell for me is if I don’t want to discuss with others. For example, I know my excessive eating habits own me when I don’t want to share or confess with my wife or friends.
3. Here are four things to do if you're owned by anything other than Christ.
Reminder Christ’s love and sacrifice for you.
Romans 5:8 says, “...but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” If I’m going to be consumed by anything or Anyone, I want it to be the One who died for me while I was still a sinner.
Remember Who owns you.
Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” God the Father bought me with the (very) high price of His Son. I am not my own, and I am already Owned by God because of the Son.
Remember Paul’s words in Philippians 4:6-7 to not be anxious or worried about anything.
Paul writes, "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” I love this passage. It’s one of the first passages I memorized as a new Christian in 1998. If I remember this passage and apply it, confess my struggles, and allow the peace of God to take over, I will not be owned or dominated by anything.
Remember the source and true home of my treasure.
Jesus says in Matthew 6:19-21, "“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Any treasure I seek on earth is laid up in the wrong home and destiny. When I focus on the right source and destination of my treasure, then I’m no longer owned by the fleeting things of this world.
My prayer for you today as you read this is that you will not be owned by anything other than Christ. I’d appreciate it if you prayed the same for me.
Your Turn:
What are things that own or consume you?
What will you do about it?