How are you Doing With Your Promise, "'til death do us part?"
Earlier this week, Kristen and I celebrated 13 years of marriage. A few days prior, I had the privilege of officiating a wedding for some friends.
My favorite part of any wedding is when the bride and groom exchange vows. There is something powerful about the promises they make to God and with one another that draws me in. For maybe the first time in the ceremony, the bride and groom are able to fully look into one another’s eyes as they share their vows.
I appreciate the way Tim Keller speaks about the wedding vows in his incredible book, The Meaning of Marriage. Keller writes,
“Wedding vows are not a declaration of present love but a mutually binding promise of future love. A wedding should not be primarily a celebration of how loving you feel now— that can safely be assumed. Rather, in a wedding you stand up before God, your family, and all the main institutions of society, and you promise to be loving, faithful, and true to the other person in the future, regardless of undulating internal feelings or external circumstances.”
In other words, vows are your promise that you will be loving, faithful, and true to your spouse every single day, regardless of the circumstances; better or worse, richer or poorer, and in sickness or in health.
The vows are easy on your wedding day. But what about when things are tight financially, adultery or pornography rock your marriage, or your spouse gets diagnosed with cancer?
Your marriage and vows may not be tested by infidelity, poverty or cancer. For most couples, your biggest enemies will be selfishness, anger and pride. Not so easy anymore.
Because of this, some practically change their vows to say "Until we love each other no more" or "As long as our love shall last" instead of "'til death us part." When they do this, couples, in essence, choose to place their stock in feelings instead of unconditional love and forgiveness. When the feelings fade, so does the marriage.
Yet the beauty of the vows and promises we make in marriage are indicative of the types of vows and promises the Lord makes to us. Be encouraged by a few reminders (and there are so many more):
Never will I leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)
He will finish the good work in you that he has already started (Philippians 1:6)
Nothing can separate us from the Lord of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39)
The Lord is mighty to save and will sing over us (Zephaniah 3:17)
This is crazy! The way the Lord of the universe loves us, pursues us, and never gives up on us. Marriage is intended for us to do exactly the same. If you don’t believe me, see Ephesians 5:21-33.
So… husbands and wives, how are you doing? How are you doing at pursuing your spouse? Are you keeping the promises you made to each other in your wedding vows?
For your premarrieds reading this: Are you ready to make these commitments to one person, for the rest of your life, until death do you part? These vows and promises and never to be taken lightly. At the same time, there is a level of beauty and comfort in knowing you are committed to one another. In other words, no matter how many times I fall short, Kristen is still committed to me, and vice versa. Your vows will be a mutually binding promise of future love.
Your Turn:
Did you exchange standard vows or write your own?
Track down your vows and discuss with your spouse. How are you doing at keeping your promises?