How Much Is My Integrity Worth?
Lessons Learned From a College Football Scandal
Today I’m sharing a story that the majority of you won’t know and that won’t affect most of your lives one bit. However, the lessons I’ve learned from the story apply to every one of us who sometimes struggle with anger, judgment, and bitterness. If you don’t struggle with those things, you’re exempt from reading this post (And, please let me buy you a cup of coffee so you can teach me your secret, ninja ways).
As many of you know, I’m a 1995 graduate of Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Wake is a small school and is in fact, one of the smallest schools in the Division 1 Football Bowl Subdivision. This year our football team finished 6-6 and gets to play Temple in the Military Bowl on December 27th. As a Wake grad, even though I experience MUCH sports frustration, I’m a proud Wake alum and support my school in all sports.
This week our little Wake Forest community was rocked by a scandal (with a genius social media name - #WakeyLeaks) as a former Wake student/athlete/grad assistant/football coach/color commentary radio announcer has been accused of sharing football plays and secrets with some teams we’ve played over the past three years.
When I first heard the story, I, as well as many other Wake grads, was shocked that one of our own would betray our alma matter. The scandal is front page sports news as more and more details come out about his betrayal. He’s being called a modern day Benedict Arnold, and rightly so, if the accusations all hold true. His motives have not yet been revealed and many assume it’s because he wasn’t offered a coaching job when Wake switched head coaches in 2014.
Over the last 24 hours, I’ve found myself mad, frustrated, hurt, and sad for my school, our coaches, and our players. I’ve called this ex-coach bad names as I’ve talked about it with my friends. I’ve called him spineless, a mole and worse.
I have to ask, “Was it worth it? Was it worth losing your integrity? Your job? What’s it like for you in your home right now? What does your wife think of you? What will your kids say about you? What are your kid’s friends saying to your children when they see them in school? What will your in-laws say to you when they see you at Christmas this year? What’s that little voice in your head saying every time you sit still and have to face up to what you did?"
There’s a part of me that’s just mad because you messed with my school. Our school. So many questions… Did you get paid? Was this your way of seeking revenge? Again, was it worth it? How much money is your integrity really worth?
But, as I sit in my anger and stew in frustration, that small voice that might be playing in your head is playing in mine. It’s reminding me of a few things:
In Matthew 5:44, Jesus says, "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,…” To be clear, I’m not being persecuted. But, Tommy is playing a pretty good villain right now. Jesus says to pray for your enemies. Not once have I prayed for you or wondered how you’re doing. From what I hear you have a wife and three children. I’m sorry for all they’re walking through now. I pray you will humble yourself in front of your family and friends.
In John 7:53-8:11, we read the story about Jesus and the adulterous woman. In John 8:7, Jesus says to the religious leaders, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” I’ve been throwing stones at you all the way from Dallas.
In Romans 12:3, Paul writes, "For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.” I’ve thought of myself more highly than I ought, Tommy. I think I’m better than you because I haven’t done what you’ve done.
And many more… read through the gospels and see how Jesus responds to His critics, His enemies, and to the challenges He faces along the way.
Please know, Tommy, that I’m done throwing rocks. I have to ask myself the same questions every day.
Is it worth it for me to compromise my integrity when I give half truths?
When I seek my own selfish desires over the needs and desires of others?
When I get frustrated with my family, friends, and co-workers?
When I get angry, bitter and judge others?
When I sneak a longer peak at an attractive woman?
When I binge on food and tell no one about it?
I have to ask myself, "Is it worth it?" How much is my integrity worth?
The answer’s a resounding “No! It's not worth it!” Yet, somehow I’ve made your sin more significant than my own. While your platform is much larger than mine, your sin and my sin equally offend God.
At the same time, God's grace applies equally to my sin and your sin. I pray you know about His amazing grace. I have drunk deeply from the fact that God is rich in mercy and grace. In Ephesians 2:4-5, Paul writes,
"But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved..."
I hope you do face consequences. Sometimes the consequences of my sin are what God uses to most humble and grow me. But, I also hope this will break you and reveal to you your need to rely on the grace of God.
Reader: What is it for you? What causes anger, bitterness and a judgmental spirit in your life? Where do you think you’re better than someone else? It’s easy to judge, point the finger, and throw the stone. But, what would Jesus have you do with your bitterness, anger and judgmental spirit? How much is your integrity worth?
These are some of the questions I need to ask myself just about every day.